#2 From My Diary: 06/08/17

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06/08/17, Sunday

Is it just me or my head feels heavy for my neck.

This is the feeling I am constantly facing almost everyday. My neck and shoulder issues haven’t seen a perfect sunshine in last two years, oh is it just two?! Haha.

I can’t remember myself say that, “Yay, today I’m actually pain free and can live life normally.” I wonder when I’ll heal completely, physically as well as mentally.

Have a great weekend guys.

Signing off for now.

Best wishes,

Shambhavi

P.S: Happy Friendship Day to all my fellow bloggers.😊😊😍😍🌻🌻🎉🎉

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Happy Friendship Day

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Unrequited Love: What it’s like to be You

14519733_1165074796890027_9175346864870508178_n.pngI wonder what went by
In your mind, where I’m hiding shy.
I said goodbye and you were alright
No fight, no fear
I cried and you shed no tear.

You live and you lived,
With dreams of a girl
A girl I loathed, I queered.
I’ve tried, I’ve cried, and
Alas, I gave up that night.
I gave you one but many
Opportunities to hold my hand
All I seeked was love, your love;
Devoid of force or demand.

Who knew it would be so tough
To live and reel a quick sand deal
I got far ahead
Ahead of you!
Left behind was love that grew,
In my heart alone-
Alone all for myself.
You came around and fooled around
My heart that waited
For your inflicted wounds
to gape open.
To bleed like a raging river
of shining water
Red like skies awaiting thunder
Clouds that condense to cry
Like face that blushes before
A loud cry.

I waited and awaited
A call or an apology
All I received were empty words
On a day single like a solitary
cloud on a day of summer.
It has been years since then,
You went your way &
I turned to return but,
My feet got numb.
~Shambhavi

WON’T BACK DOWN

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I closed my eyes- To see your face

Face a mirror of your soul, of your lies

Where do we stand?

When will you come,

With an apology in hand?

May it seem easy for some,

Broken heart, shattered dreams,

What may come of it? Ignorant, are you?

Can you hear me scream?

Rants and whims all lost-

On a scary note at night.

My heart cried a shrill for toss-

Of meaningless feelings; fright!

Of what may come and what may go.

With a Crafty mind you were a scrupulous confidante!

They say you shall reap what you sow!

I doubt the redundant.

Will you mend what you’ve broken?

Will you be my lighthouse? I’ll be your sea. But, all you’ve done is left me shaken.

Trust? What that may be?

Caressing my wounds, my hope-

Was God and my indomitable flicker!

He came to save my life, with a rope,

And strength and wisdom, my faith grew deeper.

My soul survived the darkness,

Recovery touched me when I was low,

Filled me with invincible brightness.

Soaring high, I’ll connive you foe!

~ Shambhavi


P.S: Sometimes we are left with only ourselves, cause we wouldn’t want to upset our loved ones. Though they wouldn’t mind listening to our rant and advice accordingly. It’s just that we wouldn’t want them to worry about us, trying to spare them the dark side of the person who they love. Trying hard to uplift my mood.

Lame excuses

Today I lost my cool;

Cried my eyes out

And all you managed

to say were excuses!

I don’t want your sympathy.

All I needed was a helping hand,

Teeny tiny Consideration-

Which you lacked.

It’s hard for me to manage

Though, I’ve given nothing

But my best

Perhaps, it’s not me it’s you.

~Shambhavi

When you ask why

It’s something I’m asked quite often. 

Why do I write?

I guess it’s pretty much obvious. But, if you may ask Me, it’s because I would like to have my thoughts down on a paper. I need some clarity.

It’s a desire to know more about my thoughts and how my mind is designed. It’s basically having my life in a poem, but they say words won’t suffice and that’s why my dear, I might write an endless tale, an emotional poem, an angry debate in the form of a prose and a fairytale for the fantasies of life and yet again my words would fall short to say what I have on my mind.

That chaos, it needs an outlet and my writing gives that to me.

A beautiful expression of love, simplicity and complexities of life, roaring anger or just grave sadness or exploring  creativity. It’s all in writing.

I hope you get that. 

Good day to all of You,

~Shambhavi 

Change

When words meant

nothing

I tried being silent

You messaged me once

You messaged me twice

And ’twas the last.

I told you to go away

And for a change

you said Yes

Without a fight.

That night everything

changed

Perhaps not you but,

My life changed

My world changed

I changed.

Since, I haven’t

looked back

And, I won’t be

looking either.

~Shambhavi