#2 From My Diary: 06/08/17

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06/08/17, Sunday

Is it just me or my head feels heavy for my neck.

This is the feeling I am constantly facing almost everyday. My neck and shoulder issues haven’t seen a perfect sunshine in last two years, oh is it just two?! Haha.

I can’t remember myself say that, “Yay, today I’m actually pain free and can live life normally.” I wonder when I’ll heal completely, physically as well as mentally.

Have a great weekend guys.

Signing off for now.

Best wishes,

Shambhavi

P.S: Happy Friendship Day to all my fellow bloggers.😊😊😍😍🌻🌻🎉🎉

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Happy Friendship Day

Unrequited Love: What it’s like to be You

14519733_1165074796890027_9175346864870508178_n.pngI wonder what went by
In your mind, where I’m hiding shy.
I said goodbye and you were alright
No fight, no fear
I cried and you shed no tear.

You live and you lived,
With dreams of a girl
A girl I loathed, I queered.
I’ve tried, I’ve cried, and
Alas, I gave up that night.
I gave you one but many
Opportunities to hold my hand
All I seeked was love, your love;
Devoid of force or demand.

Who knew it would be so tough
To live and reel a quick sand deal
I got far ahead
Ahead of you!
Left behind was love that grew,
In my heart alone-
Alone all for myself.
You came around and fooled around
My heart that waited
For your inflicted wounds
to gape open.
To bleed like a raging river
of shining water
Red like skies awaiting thunder
Clouds that condense to cry
Like face that blushes before
A loud cry.

I waited and awaited
A call or an apology
All I received were empty words
On a day single like a solitary
cloud on a day of summer.
It has been years since then,
You went your way &
I turned to return but,
My feet got numb.
~Shambhavi

WON’T BACK DOWN

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I closed my eyes- To see your face

Face a mirror of your soul, of your lies

Where do we stand?

When will you come,

With an apology in hand?

May it seem easy for some,

Broken heart, shattered dreams,

What may come of it? Ignorant, are you?

Can you hear me scream?

Rants and whims all lost-

On a scary note at night.

My heart cried a shrill for toss-

Of meaningless feelings; fright!

Of what may come and what may go.

With a Crafty mind you were a scrupulous confidante!

They say you shall reap what you sow!

I doubt the redundant.

Will you mend what you’ve broken?

Will you be my lighthouse? I’ll be your sea. But, all you’ve done is left me shaken.

Trust? What that may be?

Caressing my wounds, my hope-

Was God and my indomitable flicker!

He came to save my life, with a rope,

And strength and wisdom, my faith grew deeper.

My soul survived the darkness,

Recovery touched me when I was low,

Filled me with invincible brightness.

Soaring high, I’ll connive you foe!

~ Shambhavi


P.S: Sometimes we are left with only ourselves, cause we wouldn’t want to upset our loved ones. Though they wouldn’t mind listening to our rant and advice accordingly. It’s just that we wouldn’t want them to worry about us, trying to spare them the dark side of the person who they love. Trying hard to uplift my mood.

IT’S OUR DAY!

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Happy Anniversary ULTIMATESOLACE.

Thank you for being there for me when I wasn’t sure of my thoughts. I have quite a lot to thank you for, you’ve been there throughout with your new post option for me to put down my thoughts, even if the words written there weren’t shared but saved as drafts.

Thank you for making a place for me in the beautiful world of blogging, who knew I would be a blogger. Thank you for your constant reminder to write a post, like a friend with open arms and open ear and no judgement to pass.

Thank you for being patient with me and not losing hope when I had stopped writing for a while.

Thank you for the new things I learnt over here and the new people who became a part of my life through blogging.

Thank you for the beautiful posts that uplifted my mood and posts that I could relate to and for the posts that showed me that I’m not the only one with trouble and chaos.

Thank you for giving me hope and loving me when I couldn’t do the same.

You’re my best friend UltimateSolace and I can never thank you enough.

~Shambhavi

Lame excuses

Today I lost my cool;

Cried my eyes out

And all you managed

to say were excuses!

I don’t want your sympathy.

All I needed was a helping hand,

Teeny tiny Consideration-

Which you lacked.

It’s hard for me to manage

Though, I’ve given nothing

But my best

Perhaps, it’s not me it’s you.

~Shambhavi

When you ask why

It’s something I’m asked quite often. 

Why do I write?

I guess it’s pretty much obvious. But, if you may ask Me, it’s because I would like to have my thoughts down on a paper. I need some clarity.

It’s a desire to know more about my thoughts and how my mind is designed. It’s basically having my life in a poem, but they say words won’t suffice and that’s why my dear, I might write an endless tale, an emotional poem, an angry debate in the form of a prose and a fairytale for the fantasies of life and yet again my words would fall short to say what I have on my mind.

That chaos, it needs an outlet and my writing gives that to me.

A beautiful expression of love, simplicity and complexities of life, roaring anger or just grave sadness or exploring  creativity. It’s all in writing.

I hope you get that. 

Good day to all of You,

~Shambhavi 

That woman who I know

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If you think I’d have missed
To notice your ugly face,
One amongst the many faces you got
You’re wrong Woman
Wrong in all the senses a dictionary can describe
Look at the audacity
You think your actions are reasonable
You think you’re God
I mean just crazy right
But, surprise surprise
You’re down right crazy
And as I said, in all the wrong senses
Whatever you do, I’ll never forget
Your dirty actions and taunts that you laid on me.
Woman, if you think calling yourself God
Can change things for you.
I am very delighted to
break the news
You’re Wrong.
Even if I am expected to love you
You know in quotes,
‘Expected’
You are gonna get just plain anger and disgust
You say you’re saying in my best interest.
Well lady, you should know
I am a rebellion, I might look
Like the silent type, but the chaos you’ve created
In my head, is like a chain reaction.
It’s not gonna stop unless you stop
You keep your ugly face away
I won’t say a word
But if you do show,
Just see your respect going down
Flat under a road roller.
I might look like a defiant soul
But, guess what
you’re just getting to know me.
~Shambhavi