WON’T BACK DOWN

I closed my eyes- To see your face

Face a mirror of your soul, of your lies

Where do we stand?

When will you come,

With an apology in hand?

May it seem easy for some,

Broken heart, shattered dreams,

What may come of it? Ignorant, are you?

Can you hear me scream?

Rants and whims all lost-

On a scary note at night.

My heart cried a shrill for toss-

Of meaningless feelings; fright!

Of what may come and what may go.

With a Crafty mind you were a scrupulous confidante!

They say you shall reap what you sow!

I doubt the redundant.

Will you mend what you’ve broken?

Will you be my lighthouse? I’ll be your sea. But, all you’ve done is left me shaken.

Trust? What that may be?

Caressing my wounds, my hope-

Was God and my indomitable flicker!

He came to save my life, with a rope,

And strength and wisdom, my faith grew deeper.

My soul survived the darkness,

Recovery touched me when I was low,

Filled me with invincible brightness.

Soaring high, I’ll connive you foe!

~ Shambhavi

---

P.S: Sometimes we are left with only ourselves, cause we wouldn’t want to upset our loved ones. Though they wouldn’t mind listening to our rant and advice accordingly. It’s just that we wouldn’t want them to worry about us, trying to spare them the dark side of the person who they love. Trying hard to uplift my mood.

Lame excuses

Today I lost my cool;

Cried my eyes out

And all you managed

to say were excuses!

I don’t want your sympathy.

All I needed was a helping hand,

Teeny tiny Consideration-

Which you lacked.

It’s hard for me to manage

Though, I’ve given nothing

But my best

Perhaps, it’s not me it’s you.

~Shambhavi

Verbal diarrhoea

That ‘me’ within needs no tongue to express

It’s mal-functional when I’m in distress.

I wonder what I’ve on my mind

Whether an extraordinaire or the daily rind.

It’s not the unexpected turn of events I fear

Is it the plain pressure what they call of peer?

Oh Madame moiselle, I may correct you

Hello how are you? How do you do?!

Not just exchange of few verbal bizarre

At times, my mouth goes topsy turvy over par

I’m scared of nothing but my mistakes

Pardon me, I’ll try to pull the brakes

Over this very fear

I promise never to shed any tear

Over the matter so menial

As a matter of fact I’m being real.

I hate pleasing

As a matter of fact, that word isn’t appealing

At all I must add a few

It’s not just that I hate one or two

There are many that makes this ‘me’

Fall of the curve, down that C

Verbal diarrhoea they say

Has no cure whatever may

I tried hard and harder not to fail

My sea is mine and my boat is all mine to sail

Cease, is what I could afford

But, what do I do of all the emotional load?

Some say, suppress it, some say express it

When I do as they say, they don’t suffer one bit

At last I now know of that,

It’s your life, wear your choice of hat

Dress like a stripper or a clown

Up you go or down you drown

You got your soul

Hold yourself and up you roll

Your sleeves of wisdom

Continue your tandem

Beats of expression

Leave it all, have no tension.

~Shambhavi

Inhibitions

I’m not scared of Inhibitions,

I’m tired of it.

-Shambhavi

Confession of a Chaotic mind-Part 1

I feel like crying right now;

Cause, it’s taking a lot in me

To fight the fight

that’s happening around me.

An endless, tiresome cycle

Of misery and commotion,

Inside my head that refuses

To cease.

I’m tired of the chaos;

And I’ll fight till

the chaos gets tired of me.

~Shambhavi

Part 2: Forgotten

When memories

fade away,

they take away

the very feeling

that made it special.

~Shambhavi 

Timeout

I am so torn apart,

I can’t find peace within;

Surrounded by chaos-

All I need is some timeout.

– Shambhavi

Anomalous Love

Anomalous Love

Feelings I had,

For you, I would’ve done the

Unimaginable.

Good God, stopped me

I stood like a frozen statue

One that didn’t thaw

In the extinguished fire 

That never lasted between us

There was a spark

Or it was a prank

What mattered that I was victimised

How could I love you

With a love that didn’t ring 

That didn’t sting,

Just you!

I died thousand deaths 

You were a smart arse 

You escaped the harsh wring

Of barbed wires 

Scars I wear everyday

Scars that make me who I’m 

I held my heart out on my sleeve

Like plunging hand in lion’s mouth

They say,

I plunged my heart out for you.

What a blunder, oh my

What a blunder

How could I love you

Anomalous Love

That thundered

While I danced alone

To the song that never really was mine

To begin with

For all I had was you

My end and my beginning

Something that was never meant to be

I died thousand deaths

But you passed every time.

~Shambhavi

P.S:If this feels like a dark place, kindly forgive me. 🙂

Sending sunshine in the darkest hours of your life.🌻🌻🌻🌻

#11 My Thoughts: Like Salt in the Sea

Pinterest Image

Can you forget those tiny droplets

That crept across your face with fear

The wind that dried crystal laden streams

Those hiccups that sucked the life out

The air that got stuck within the cage, ribcage

Of heart that it encloses

Shattered into million pieces

Of joy that no longer remains 

Tiny sparkles of joy that lit

Your eyes containing that dream within

Now that has dulled with grim

I wonder if you can forget

That moment that shook everything within?

~Shambhavi 

P.S: I guess we all own few areas of gray, that we prefer to forget but do the redundant!

Human mind after all! 😁😁

Pouring my heart out, bear with me.

I’m sorry for being away for so long,

Here I’m writing again..

Pouring my heart out here, cause it’s suffocating to keep it all in and too painful to swallow it whole!

Kindly bear with me..

Thank you 😘🌻🌻

Sending you all love and sunshine.🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

I’ve a Pandora’s Box at bay,

Brimming with emotions:

That now refuse to stay!

They run tandem:

Like ectopic beats,

Devoid of rhythm,

When strings break underneath-

Fingers too many afflicting on repeat.

When I’d asked:

What was life supposed to be?

It came to me as a surprise!

To see my wisdom fail

Of quarter century old

What a pity!

To see it churn with sadness,

To ensure something solid in the end?!

Sadly, twas’-

Senseless to begin with,

Endless to pin down!

Emotions running wild now

Like the beasts in a jungle.

While they travel in pack

Few run amok!

These emotions are now lost,

Flowing across the,

Curvatures of my face, in streams

That dulled my shine

Dulled my life;

And down onto the page-

That appears blurred in the light,

Dimmed out by the very stimulus,

Who took away the sun.

Of my life!

My sunshine.

And;

All that echoed, was

“Make your own sunshine.“

And now..

that has become my hum.

~ Shambhavi