I wonder what went by
In your mind, where I’m hiding shy.
I said goodbye and you were alright
No fight, no fear
I cried and you shed no tear.
You live and you lived,
With dreams of a girl
A girl I loathed, I queered.
I’ve tried, I’ve cried, and
Alas, I gave up that night.
I gave you one but many
Opportunities to hold my hand
All I seeked was love, your love;
Devoid of force or demand.
Who knew it would be so tough
To live and reel a quick sand deal
I got far ahead
Ahead of you!
Left behind was love that grew,
In my heart alone-
Alone all for myself.
You came around and fooled around
My heart that waited
For your inflicted wounds
to gape open.
To bleed like a raging river
of shining water
Red like skies awaiting thunder
Clouds that condense to cry
Like face that blushes before
A loud cry.
I waited and awaited
A call or an apology
All I received were empty words
On a day single like a solitary
cloud on a day of summer.
It has been years since then,
You went your way &
I turned to return but,
My feet got numb.
My guilt dances to
The ectopic beats
on the dance floor
of my conscience.
It’s mal-functional when I’m in distress.
I wonder what I’ve on my mind
Whether an extraordinaire or the daily rind.
It’s not the unexpected turn of events I fear
Is it the plain pressure what they call of peer?
Oh Madame moiselle, I may correct you
Hello how are you? How do you do?!
Not just exchange of few verbal bizarre
At times, my mouth goes topsy turvy over par
I’m scared of nothing but my mistakes
Pardon me, I’ll try to pull the brakes
Over this very fear
I promise never to shed any tear
Over the matter so menial
As a matter of fact I’m being real.
I hate pleasing
As a matter of fact, that word isn’t appealing
At all I must add a few
It’s not just that I hate one or two
There are many that makes this ‘me’
Fall of the curve, down that C
Verbal diarrhoea they say
Has no cure whatever may
I tried hard and harder not to fail
My sea is mine and my boat is all mine to sail
Cease, is what I could afford
But, what do I do of all the emotional load?
Some say, suppress it, some say express it
When I do as they say, they don’t suffer one bit
At last I now know of that,
It’s your life, wear your choice of hat
Dress like a stripper or a clown
Up you go or down you drown
You got your soul
Hold yourself and up you roll
Your sleeves of wisdom
Continue your tandem
Beats of expression
Leave it all, have no tension.
When words meant
I tried being silent
You messaged me once
You messaged me twice
And ’twas the last.
I told you to go away
And for a change
you said Yes
Without a fight.
That night everything
Perhaps not you but,
My life changed
My world changed
Since, I haven’t
And, I won’t be
What I honor is,
Utter truth, not buttered tooth.
Can you forget those tiny droplets
That crept across your face with fear
The wind that dried crystal laden streams
Those hiccups that sucked the life out
The air that got stuck within the cage, ribcage
Of heart that it encloses
Shattered into million pieces
Of joy that no longer remains
Tiny sparkles of joy that lit
Your eyes containing that dream within
Now that has dulled with grim
I wonder if you can forget
That moment that shook everything within?
P.S: I guess we all own few areas of gray, that we prefer to forget but do the redundant!
Human mind after all! 😁😁
I’ll hold you when you fall
Fall or spring I’ll be your call
Call me your love or your savior
Savior is what I call God
God, help me help you
You little girl,
Girl, soft at heart, strong
Strong to face the world
World of broken dreams and failures
Failures will be your ladder
Ladder to your success
Success is what you will receive
Receive love and spread love
Love yourself, love your being
Being human is the key, Shambhavi.
P.S: I’ve tried writing something unusual. With last word being the first word of next sentence. Lemme know your thoughts in the comments section. 🌻🌻